Lur

It's very hard to trust people, I find.

Now perhaps I'm not the most stable when it comes to trusting people anyway - for obvious reasons - but when you start wondering if everyone is in league since there seems to be a common venue which, you never know, they might all have met up in or some such thing...well, of course I'm bound to be edgy. If I had the funding, there's a fairly high chance I'd move away, not tell anyone and become a hikikomori. People just can be so...horrible.

I think one of the most depressing conclusions I ever came to, the one that really knocked me for six and scarred me, is the people you considered friends can treat you without any concern at all. That they'd hurt you and NOT CARE. I've lessened me expectations of people to about the point of, if they don't permanently physically or reputationally injure me or cause me to lose my house/job/Him, I can handle it, by simply not caring about them. What can I do? Nothing is worth feeling that mucked up in the head. I spent a very unhappy few months half-mad because of certain people and I don't care to repeat the experience. I still half-expect them to pop up on my doorstep.

In the wider scheme of things, I KNOW my bosses, politicians and the world at large are selfish liars to whom I should pay very little attention and expect even less. No matter how charming someone seems, the chances are that will be an act. ESPECIALLY with politicans (and bosses). It staggers me that people ever think politicians will pull through on the things they promise. Years of experience hasn't told you otherwise? HELLO?

Now, I have met some nice people, don't get me wrong. But then again, who am I to judge? I thought other people were nice.

I think the upshot of this post is that I wish people were nicer. I wish all people were empaths, so that the pain of others would hurt them so damn much that they had, HAD to do something about it. No war, no hunger, no backstabbing...PAH.