Some general blathering to start the week!

"That was really terrifyingly creepy".

I think that might be one of my favourite reviews on one of my stories ever! To actually have enough of an effect that someone wrote that rather than the generic 'very good' kind of review. Let me TERRIFY you!

In other news, I did, as expected, get back to work and find myself desperate to leave. Well, let's sum up:

a) I have NO idea what Iwona did while I wasn't here. I can't see much evidence she did much at all except email me things to do and not send people job packs.

b) My boss is leaving! I was so excited for all of 5 minutes until I discovered he's staying on in an 'advisory' (read: managing) capacity. Oh well.

c) I'm bored. Now, this one isn't the end of the world because I've always been bored but since I've had my workload forcably removed from me I don't feel patient enough to be bored with it. If they'd ASKED I might have said, yes, what a good idea. But since they just went ahead and ripped it from my otherwise unmoving fingers, I wasn't best impressed. I also didn't appreciate being a go-between for managers in that little hoo-hah.

d) At 26, I should be earning more than this. Seriously. With an MA.

I mean, it's not the worst job. It's not even the worst job I've personally had. But it's EMPTY. I don't go home feeling filled with accomplishment and joy, as if every moment contributed to something better than the sum of the parts. I don't feel fulfilled. I feel redundant, since anyone with a reasonable amount of Word/Excel know-how and a smile could do my job (apart from, apparently, Iwona). I want something I feel only I (or at least, someone with more specific knowledge and qualifications) could do, something I feel suited to, of course. An added benefit would be not having the urge to throw wads of paper at people on a regular basis. :/

A large part of me wants to rail against university for not preparing me for this, for not guiding and helping me into something at least minimally using what I've learned. So much for the responsibility of the dolorosa mater. I didn't even really get, bar a few afternoons, my sunlit ivory towers. Where was my hazy, flower-scented summer academia? Where was my alter of knowledge, my Alice-in-Wonderland tea and books, my silent libraries with the dust of ages (libraries yes, dust of ages and silence, not so much. IN fact, BOOKS, not so much)? But it's just insult to injury to be stuck without even anything AFTERWARDS for my trouble (and expense).

I'm not going to graduation, even though this annoys my parents. Well, I refuse to give them more of my time and money and parade around in a dress that makes me look like a pudding in exchange for a BADLY MARKED DISSERTATION and a couple of cheap canapes. SHOVE IT, Royal Holloway.

Bitter? MOI!? Why, you jest!

But I mean, I just had to go and order some Mercedes Lackey books on Amazon and opening Amazon never ends well. That said, i still have a £20 book voucher for Waterstones too, which I find hard to use since I can't help but think I could get them cheaper on Amazon even if they're FREE to me. So I have to wait for the PERFECT book in Waterstones. Hmm.

Next post will be cheerful, I hope...^^;