Lur

It's QUOTE TIME!

"I think men are usually kinder, sweeter, more innocent , and direct than women.
There are very few women that are good enough for men, because most of them are bitches and they always talk behind your back... and 'ya can never really trust them because as soon as you turn around you can get stabbed in the back.

Also, the few "good" women I know, are those that act like men.
Friends, sister, they're all really kind and nice women... but they all act like guys. Women that act like women, are usually bitches..."

"...while most reasonable people see women and men as equals, few (if any) dare to claim that femininity is masculinity's equal."

OK, why is that? Why are people so ANTI-femininity? Not that I'm anti-feminist and really, manner of dress aside, I'm probably not exactly what you'd call a girly-girl, but why is it that if a woman now so much as mentions she'd like to be a stay-at-home mother, for example, or that she enjoys cooking dinner, or dressing up in pretty clothes, she gets dumped on from all sides for being a 'bad influence' or a 'doormat' or 'a traitor to her gender'?

Now, the first quote came from a now-defunct website and while the girl (yes, it was a girl writing) has clearly had some bad experiences, my weasel soul admits she does have a point. A lot of women, are bitchy. There's no way around it. I too freely admit the nicest people at work, or at karate, or choir, were the men. The women in the office are HORRIBLY bitchy for the most part. In fact, close friends aside, I'd rather hang out with men. They have fewer...sides.

Nonetheless, AS a female, this presents problems. Now, I don't have a good relationship with my vagina (nor do I want to nor feel pressured to do so, stupid Vagina Monologues, but that's another rant) but biologically and culturally, I'm female. And while I occasionally DO wish I was male, I for the most part am OK with my gender. It's just...there, you know?

But being female (OR male) comes with a lot of immediate impressions and preconceptions, and yes, one of those is that I will probably be a bitch or a doormat. In fact, I find it is WOMEN who judge other women the most harshly. Consider that recent poll about how women blame other women for rape more than men do. She dared to wear a short skirt and look 'girly' (or 'openly sexual', if you prefer). She went home with the man. She didn't act demure. Yet women who DO always act demure are frowned upon (admittedly by a different sub-section of people) for NOT being openly sexual, going home with men, being aggressive/dominant/ambitious and so on. There is no way to win, and middle ground is usually seen as wishy-washy.

Women who act like men tend to get away with being aggressive because they're taking that male role. But they're not seen as FEMALE, for the most part. Margaret Thatcher was the 'Iron Lady', something hard, metallic, traditionally male. Businesswomen don't wear dresses or enjoy cooking or flowers. They aren't frowned upon because they're female, biologically, because it looks as if they've overcome the 'weakness' of femininity. It's OK for a woman to be strong as long as it's COMPLETE. A strong woman, ie, one with a degree, say, or a black belt, is seen as a traitor if she decides, actually, she'd rather be a housewife, or she likes Disney and wears pink. Suddenly she isn't intelligent or strong. She's a lost case. Why should wanting to be a homemaker suddenly negate one's good points, as if they were never there in the first place?

Is this why women are so bitchy? Because they're afraid of other women taking their place as the accepted dominant or something? Why can't women be comfortable with themselves and with OTHER WOMEN without needing to put them down? Now, heck, I know some people can be horrible and you need to bitch about them; I'm sure men do the same when they're annoyed for a specific reason. But ragging on someone for their manner of dress, choice of hobby, whatever, is a much more female archetype. The gaggle of gossips hanging over the garden fence (or in the bar or club). Being friends with a man - TRULY JUST FRIENDS - is a cause for derision and mock appall. But being too ladylike is being 'weak' or 'subservient to men'.

Why can't people just get on and admit that there are virtues in many ways of living, and let women be equal no matter WHAT they want to do?